Many a time, our life experiences embed obstinate thoughts and ideas in our minds. These thoughts and ideas result in us making ad nauseum excuses as to why certain things don’t work out in our lives. Although these excuses may be circumstantially valid; the question of how to progress or improve - if we do decide to dwell on our sentiments - arises. How do we transcend the status quo if our minds remain cornered into a proverbial box?
The problem
The following thoughts and ideas may linger on in our mind until we deeply believe them:
“Only children can learn new languages because their brains are malleable”
“I could never learn a musical instrument because I’m quite old”
“I hardly spend time with my family due to high workload at work”
“Starting this project is challenging because I don’t have enough money nor do I know such people”
“This subject is so complicated; I may never understand it”
Do any of these statements seem familiar to you?
These are some of the negative and doubtful thoughts that inhabit our mindset. However, the interesting thing about the mind is that so long as we hold onto these ideas, our behaviour (consciously or subconsciously) is geared towards making our excuses a perpetual reality. The fact that there is an axiomatic system for accomplishing a certain task doesn’t mean it’s the only way. For example, the digit ‘nine’ (9) can be calculated through multiple arithmetic permutations. Six plus three equals nine (6+3=9); so does five plus four (5+4) or thirty minus twenty-three plus two (30-23+2) or eighteen divided by two (18÷2). There are always alternative routes to getting outside the current framework we’ve been familiar with.
Moreover, most of what happens in our lives depends on how we react, what we do and what we say. We are the superheroes we seek and shouldn’t always have to wait for someone to liberate us from our “mind cage”. According to Donald Miller [1], we play different roles in every plot of our story. Sometimes we could be the hero, the villain, the guide or the victim. Embracing any of these roles is contingent on how we react to a situation that is. We often have a choice to make: shall I dwell in this current state or shall I find ways to move on, develop and grow? We obviously cannot have our cake and eat it i.e. feel sorry for ourselves whilst simultaneously forging ahead. So, how do we navigate outside our mental box to narrate the best version of our story?
Some solutions
Getting outside the box would certainly be stepping into new territory, hence it is necessary to map out the area. Here are some ideas on how to go about it. Firstly, conduct some introspection, retrospection and self-analysis and ask yourself questions such as: why do I believe this to be impossible or why have I assimilated this mindset towards my goal or situation?
Secondly, become curious and question whatever you observe. Instead of saying: “I can’t do this.”, you can alternatively say: “how would I do this?”. Take a few seconds to ponder on the last question concerning anything you have written off or considered infeasible. Do you see how it considerably changes your perspective and opens new thinking pathways for a solution? You can also pilfer someone else’s strategy to replicate in your context; stimulating your curiosity and observing how other people overcame a certain hurdle could help you in your quest for a better you.
Thirdly, after you have uncovered and developed a possible plan of action, try breaking down these actions into smaller chunks of priority. Chunking down an entangled process helps you see the simplicity in its complexity.
Lastly and the most important piece of advice: JUST START!
Don’t spend too much time analysing things. You will thank yourself later down the line after you’ve started. The risk of not acting could end up being very costly. Sometimes, it’s difficult getting off your bed in the morning but once you do, you can accomplish almost anything. To ensure you take those much-needed steps; you could seek out an accountability partner, a mentor or someone (maybe a group of people) who could help you inch closer to your destination.
To conclude, be consistent, trial different hypotheses and avenues and keep iterating your plan to act as long as you improve (even by 1% each day). As time progresses, your strategies will mature as you learn myriad of principles and concepts during the journey.
Never write yourself off until you have tested yourself. Yes, context matters but having a victim mentality greatly limits our potential. We never know until we at least try.
Glossary
Obstinate: stubbornly refusing to change one's opinion or chosen course of action, despite attempts to persuade one to do so.
Ad nauseum: used to refer to the fact that something has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.
Status quo: the existing state of affairs, especially regarding social or political issues.
Malleable: able to be moulded into shape without damage.
Axiomatic: self-evident or unquestionable.
Permutations: each of several possible ways in which a set or number of things can be ordered or arranged.
Contingent: subject to chance.
Infeasible: not possible to do easily or conveniently; impracticable.
Pilfer: steal (things of little value).
Iterate: perform or utter repeatedly.
Myriad: a countless or extremely great number of people or things.
Reference
Donald Miller on Valuetainment Short Clips (Producer). (2020, October 11). Are You A Hero, Victim, Villain or Guide? Retrieved from YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7scIPUV_3Y)
Thank you @BecksBecca. He was a wise man indeed. It is best to take the chance and try or else you will live your life with one of two things: (1) uncertainty and (2) regret. Every experience, even failure, offers growth and a new perspective.
Tho piece is amazing. Reminds me of a wise man that said "I would rather aim high and fail than never aim at all"